I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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