I can't watch pbs sober anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
