I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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