dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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