upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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