Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
