is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
