I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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