he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
