You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
