pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
