I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have post one night stand depression
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