one word: firstdatebathroomanal
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I deserve this hangover.
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