When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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