margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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