Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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