i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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