I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm passing your future prison.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
