just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
