i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
