Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
