I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
