No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
