we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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