White coat. Heels.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize