just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
