i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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