You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
