what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
