OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
