his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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