great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
