he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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