i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
