he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
