this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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