It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He felt like a one man threesome
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i out mim tonsoeep
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