i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Im part way to drunk.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
