"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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