I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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