what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
