Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
well you can't waste a boner
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
