my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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