I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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