Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dick very happy bro
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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