he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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