he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
