so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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