you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
