definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
