If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
