So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
