Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
