I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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