yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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