we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The uberlube is also flammable
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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