hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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