This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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