he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My feet surprised me
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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