he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
