Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
